I'll start off apologizing for the lack of photos- and also to say that I"m very new at this. My sister in law, Margaret is helping to coach me through starting to use this, but given the communication challenges at the moment, it will take awhile for me to figure things out. We haven't taken many photos yet, and I haven't downloaded any to Bill's laptop, figured out how to do any of that yet..... all in good time. And we'll see if I can figure out how to erase my first letter home that Margaret posted for me or not- if not, forgive the repeat!
Much love,
Kirsten
Tuesday February 12, 2008
I’ll back track a bit just to keep history. In December 2007 we finally received the news that we would be moving to Naples, Italy for Bill’s next job. It was a mad scramble from the day we found out (12/10?) until our departure; official passports, visa applications, overseas medical screenings, my mammogram and dentist appointment plus a cavity filled, arranging for all of the move, oh, CHRISTMAS, trying to figure out what to do with the house, LOTS of cleaning, selling my car, the list goes on…..
Christmas at Nana’s now seems a blur- but a wonderful chance to take a breather and forget about all the STUFF that had to be done. The girls stayed with Nana several extra days after Bill and I returned to get to work. Since I seem to be responsible for the girl’s things, I found myself up late night after night….. After the girls returned, we were blessed with the help of many friends- Rachel went to school every morning instead of just 3 days, and they had a playdate set up almost everyday with someone looking after them till suppertime while the moving process continued. Tiring and hard for them, but so much better to be having fun playing than stuck at home with no attention and total chaos swirling about, let alone a tired, cranky and sad Mama.
An overseas move ended up being much more complicated than a move within the U.S. and it draws it all out for longer- seeming to wring each drop of sweat and tears from me. We gathered what seemed like the most essential clothes, toys, etc to send in an express shipment that would take 4-6 weeks to arrive. Than four days later the moving company began packing up all that we wanted to send overseas. The sheer volume of trying to sort through every single thing we owned and making the decision of “Did we need it during the next two years, would it fit in a new home, and would it work in Italy?” was overwhelming. In the end I seemed to randomly toss things here and there. It will be interesting to see what decisions I actually made as all our belongings resurface! So, the overseas portion took 3 days to box up and load into wooden crates. Than there was one more day of packing all that would go to storage (along with a few things that should have stayed with the house!) as well as trying to keep all that we wanted to take in our luggage out of the way and not end up in a box somewhere. It all stretched my organizational skills to the limit.
Somewhat amazingly, Bill and I worked as a great team through most all of the process. I’ve been so thankful that under such stress the process seemed to bring out the best in our marriage, not the worst. We moved out of the house and in with neighbors once the beds were gone, and after the girl’s last day school, into the Navy lodge. More trips back to the house…. What we thought was just a bit left to do to finish cleaning, getting it ready to be rented, in reality took days upon days. We hired a property manager, and as of now, it is still not rented yet. In between the work days were goodbye parties with neighbors and friends. I found myself crying at the unexpected times. I found it heart wrenching to give away Rachel’s crib- this was the end of an amazing and precious period of out lives, giving birth to our babies. With giving up the crib, it truly put an end to the “baby” period of parenting, and now we’re carrying onward with raising little girls. So many memories are tied to our time there in Gales Ferry, and so many special people that were a part of it. Some of the friendships will continue, but I know from experience that even the friendships that remain strong, will still change. So many people helped during those last weeks- I have so much to be thankful in the friendships and relationships I’ve been blessed with.
Bill left for Italy on Jan 15th. He had to go to start “turn over” with his predecessor, and besides that we didn’t have our visas back yet, and there were still many loose ends to take care of. The girls and I finished up and left to voyage to Nana’s on Thursday the 17th. What a relief to let go and be done and enjoy some last moments with family…. We returned to Gales Ferry on January 22nd to finish the sale of my car- Alyssa has wanted us to promise to buy a blue 2006 Odyssey again when we return. I keep telling myself it’s just a car, but still hard to see it go, plus rather nerve racking to deal with that much money ($22,000). A sick feeling in the pit of my stomach lifted when it was all safely completed. More friends took care of us that night, and took us to the airport the next day. It was an uneventful flight to DC and I truly felt free to enjoy our time over the next week as we stayed with two different very dear friends (in between blowing my nose that is), the Keasts and the Thompsons. I think for the girls it was not only wonderful to spend time with friends, but also to nourish the notion that a friendship can be maintained from far away.
Unfortunately my immune system seemed to completely abandon ship and I have endured the most hellacious cold ever for the past 3 ½ weeks- unending boxes of Kleenex needed, totally unable to breathe, sinus infection with more green stuff than I ever want to see again, painful ears, horribly sore throat, coughs in the night that left me wheezing and fighting for a breath, pink eye in both eyes…. What fun for traveling! I think I’m on the mend now, but have shared a milder version of it with Bill. It definitely contributed to not relishing my first moments here in our new host nation, especially as the humid night air was filled with acrid smoke and smog that choked me with each breath as we’d walk outside.
Our journey for Italy began on January 29th, 2008. MaryBeth graciously drove us the 3 hours down to the Norfolk Navy base, where we took a chartered military flight that night. I was grateful for the USO sponsored playroom that helped to entertain the girls during the 8 hours we spent there prior to the flight. During that time the seeds of friendship with two other families also journeying to Naples were first planted. The flights were unremarkable except for the pain in my ears and jaw from the infection, turbulence, and the girl’s remarkable ability to trade off who was sleeping and who was awake. It was frustrating to deplane in the Azores (which I’ve learned are islands off of Portugal) for an hour, waking up BOTH girls during the middle of the night and than resume the journey. However, it was good to fly directly to Naples and not have to change planes in Rome as we would have for a commercial flight and as a bonus, all of the luggage actually shows up with the military flights! It was really wonderful to see Bill’s head peeking over the security gate.
Thank goodness for the helpfulness of a military community overseas. The couple seated across the aisle offered to help transport some of our luggage. I can’t imagine what we would have done, as even after they took two suitcases, it was a challenge to fit all of us into our “new car”- a 1997 Mazda 323. I held a suitcase on my lap, backpacks stuffed beneath the girl’s feet…. And our first wild ride on the roads of Italy. Oh, I’m going to miss our minivan….
NAPLES: For starters, there has been a trash crisis, fights with the mafia over landfills, and much of the area has had no trash pickup since before Christmas. The army was brought in to clean up downtown Naples itself, but most of the outlying areas have had little to nothing done. The piles of trash everywhere along the roadsides are difficult to describe. During our first nights here, they seemed to be burning a lot of stuff and the humid air was thick with smoke and smog. I've been told that over 25,000 cattle have to be burned, as the gov't stepped in and found that the mafia had been testing only the same healthy animals for mad cow disease. I"m sure it will be really nice when that starts to happen. Since than the weather has been cold and quite windy, and the air has temporarily cleared. The military seems to have successfully flexed its muscles during the past week and forced the reopening of a small landfill that will help with a temporary disposal of trash. Yesterday a small front end loader was cleaning up the big piles that were close to the school and lodge here on base. But nothing has happened off base. It’s hard to imagine what it will be like if nothing is resolved before the weather heats up this spring and summer. I worry about rats… as well as the stench. It seems that trash has been a long standing problem here in Naples, it’s just worse than usual right now. But, most seem to have a somewhat laissez-faire attitude about the problem.
I often thought of Japan as the land of not quite right, but very polite and ever so helpful and organized. Italy so far seems to be the land of chaos and so hard to figure out how to get anything done. As an analogy, the drier in our temporary apt seems to sum up many of experiences.
We were lucky to get a reservation not in the Navy Lodge itself, but in a small 2 bedroom apt that is part of base housing that’s set up for temporary stays. It’s a new process, but all was supposed to be in place. Before doing laundry for the first time, Bill luckily realized that the washing machine drain had not been hooked up, nor had any kind of lint trap/ filter. So, a few days later that was taken care of. Next the drier was venting directly into the bathroom where it’s located, producing a lot of heat and humidity. We called again, and a few days later they came to fix and reroute the vent. I’m still working on laundry now, as the drier now does not seem to vent anywhere and it has taken almost 5 hours to dry a small load of clothes. I’ve called again, but we’ll see what happens….. Each step in the process of buying our car, getting new license plates put on, getting the contract signed for the house we’ll be moving into and having the utilities turned on, etc seems to be painful and convoluted, filled with delays, shrugging of shoulders and sighs of “that’s just the way it is…..”. We found that the phone will be turned on within 30 days of moving in, and since the previous family has DSL, that we should have that hooked up as well within 60 days. And, this is all a vast improvement and progress! Within the base, many of the Americans blame the Italian system and rules, some of the Italian workers say “tell my boss- we keep trying to tell them there is a better way…” and it all is a painful process. I’m thankful that Bill has been the one to tackle each of these problems.
As I’ve been frustrated and discouraged, I have so often thought of my friend Josanne and her family as they moved to China to provide community development work. I can’t even imagine how difficult it has been for them. I at least have some semblance of a system that is set up, even if it’s painful. And I can still buy Kraft mac and cheese to feed the girls, and we’ve already become frequent visitors to the small base library. I also think of our friend Maggie as she started off to college this fall, calling home in tears. We kept telling her it takes time to get settled, find new friends, start to get your bearings again, blah, blah, blah….. I know it’s all true for me as well- but it’s still hard not to cry and just want to go home. There’s a feeling of isolation here that makes it harder to just go out and enjoy some of the great things that are here in the area. Driving is frightening and chaotic, (its only been this past year or two that ANY kind of traffic violations have started to be enforced) no good maps for truly orienting oneself, I don’t yet know how to use our GPS system, parking is crazy…..
Alyssa and Rachel: in between fights, they’ve done an amazing job of playing with each other, filling the days with pretend games and adventures, and have even settled into sharing a bed for the time being. At times the “whine factor” seems to have reached a crisis stage, but given the circumstances, they’re doing well. Alyssa’s reading skills have blossomed and she’s now reading the much cherished “Little House on the Prairie” series, which I think is pretty amazing for her age and just being in kg. Also, as I reread the Ingalls’s adventures and struggles to survive on the prairie, I’m again reminded that our trials are so mild in comparison. The military school on base has a great program, but from where our house will be, Alyssa would have to be on the bus at 6:45 a.m. and not get home till 3:30 or so. Given her fatigue with her MUCH shorter days back in CT, we’re looking into a small private English school in our town that’s a preschool through kg, with some Italian for both girls. It seems like school is the bottom of the priority list at the moment. Just yesterday I’ve finally gotten a little more together to start more focused “school” activities for each of them. I’m thankful that for the time being, our need for school is based on social needs, not academics. It has been great to actually spend time with each of the girls, to play games, make up “school” activities, read lots of books together, etc. Rachel complains about being bored here and there, but usually colors away while Alyssa speeds through a new book. For all I know, the time here in the lodge may be some of their favorite, as we all spend more time together
Oh, how could I forget? The girls were so excited to discover in the Navy Exchange store several big glass floor tiles that give a view of an ancient Roman well below that was excavated in the process of constructing the building. The girls were fascinated, esp given their love of the Magic Tree House series of books and Jack and Annie’s visit to Mt Vesuvius. There are more ruins that are below the floor in the commissary with big glass tiles to look through. Rachel got down on her belly to crawl across the floor- telling me that she was being “very cautious!”
I felt rather discouraged after our first visit to what will become our new home. The neighborhood appeared so dirty and dingy, and there are definitely no neighbors from whom I can borrow that cup of sugar or egg. To boot, most of the stuff (bookcases, European small appliance, TV, etc) that we had purchased from the Murphy’s (the previous family) was missing. Communication with our landlord, Franco, was challenging, but it seemed he had given most of it away, and had not understood the items were for us. Fortunately, by our second visit, by whatever means, the household items had been recovered, and Antonella, our translator/ go between showed us around the area. There are at least some local shops that I can purchase a variety of items at, fresh bread, etc. and even a pizza place that will deliver. Not a nice area for walking, but manageable at least. Antonella’s mother loves to make lots of homemade stuff, and it sounds like I might be able to learn some from her and spend time. Our courtyard has lots of citrus trees, so there are lots of fresh lemons, oranges, and clementines. Yum!! The oranges are a bit tart, but should be great for juice. The girls will also be able to ride bikes, etc around the courtyard, which will help make up for having no grass. Now if I can just remember to shut and lock every single metal shutter each time I leave the house…. I wonder how long it will take before the house will become our home? We hope to move in with the loaner furniture by mid next week.
Time for bed.
Weds. February 13th,
Over the weekend we went to the house on Saturday and we all survived my first attempts at driving. It was nice to start on a day without too much traffic. Antonella toured us around and I felt better learning about some of the stores in the neighborhood, as well as that she and her parents live about 10 minutes away. On Sunday, Eric Svensson, who’s here for 6 mos (hopefully to become 12 months) took us on an outing. I’ll keep hoping we get to have a reunion with Amy and the boys over pizza and maybe a big glass of sangria this summer. He drove (the 3 of us girls squeezed in the back of his 1990 Mercedes minus one booster seat) to Sorrento. We enjoyed walking around, a brief visit to the church, looking out at the beautiful coastline, and poking into a few shops. Sorrento is famous for very intricate inlaid woodwork, to make pictures, plaques, jewelry boxes, tables, etc. All very beautiful and unfortunately it seems to be becoming a lost art. Evidently almost all of the artisans are 60+ years and there are no apprentices. The woman who has a working relationship with the base said that once she has a few more artisans retire, she will have to close her shop and even now the pieces tend to be one of a kind and will never be made again. A good sales gimmick, but my hunch is it’s true. The girls did pretty well for their first day as a tourist, but it’s obviously a much slower pace, a snack needed about every hour, tired and ready for lunch early, Toilets were also an adventure as I’d forgotten that many public places/restaurants have no toilet seat. It’s impossible to “hover” if your legs aren’t long enough to reach in the first place! Now I think I know why the Murphy’s always traveled with disposable toilet seat covers. So, I think we had an hour of driving, an hour of walking, an hour of eating lunch plus snacks, and than the return drive! It was also cool to get a better view of Mt Vesuvius for the first time. Unfortunately, after talking about walking up to the crater itself, Alyssa’s questions of “has anyone had ever fallen in?”, than Rachel perseverated that she would NEVER go on a trip up there. Sigh….
Today (2-13) has been a good day. It’s beautiful outside- no chilling wind, lots of sunshine, and I imagine in the upper 50’s. I dragged the girls out to a “family fitness class” listed at the gym. Turns out it was the P.E. class for the homeschool community for kids ages 5-12. Alyssa started in tears as she didn’t understand what to do, lots of older kids, etc. but after I joined in to play “capture the flag?”, which actually was a bunch of rubber chickens, they both at least participated. The best part was meeting a number of other women, several of whom live either in our town or even on the same street, and finding we could be included for their Scholastic book orders. Afterwards we crashed and were welcomed to join their Valentines party which the girls loved- what more could you ask for- simple craft activity, snacks, candy, and other kids! I garnered a number of phone #’s and suddenly our new home in Lago Patria seems much less isolated than it appears. My only discomfort with the homeschool group is almost everyone I know who does so, homeschool’s for religious reasons. I feel a little out of place, since church has not been a part of our family life at this point. I feel a little like a black sheep. However, I imagine with the degree that Alyssa is ahead in her academic skills from her grade level, we will be needing to supplement her education for quite some time. It’s certainly a good place to start and if possible, Ill try to attend some of their meetings. We found a different playground to try out for more than an hour on our return back to the apt, and we’ve worked on “school” the rest of the afternoon. It’s nice to have some quality time with each of the girls.
The house inspection was completed, so today Bill has been busy signing the lease, paying lots of money ($5500), working on the utilities to get signed up, deliveries, trying to get the license plates for the car so we can drive again….. It looks like we may be able to move in next Wednesday. Hooray- I think!
Friday, February 15th
Another good day. Bill went to work for a change and Eric S picked the girls and I up to take us to the local commercial center. It’s funny to me that the big stores I shopped in in France way back in 1984 are the chains that are here in Italy now. I was quite pleased to find nightlights, check out some of the kitchen things we’ll need to purchase, and gain a greater sense of where things are located. I might even be able to find my way to the base now, without someone’s GPS unit on, but I wouldn’t put money on it yet! Eric treated us to lunch out, yummy pasta again, but at a restaurant that does open up at 5:00 pm for Americans (unheard of to eat that early for Italians!)
Best of all, this afternoon I was able to drop the girls off at the child care center (Alyssa is too old, but they bend the rules a bit during your arrival) and go to an exercise/yoga class at the gym. In addition to feeling good to treat myself, I met two women who live here on base and have young teen daughters, and both families have really enjoyed traveling and are likely to be great resources. Once again, I’m struck by how easy it is to start networking. I have no idea how long it will be before someone actually becomes a friend, but for the time being, I’m happy with resources.
Let’s see, other pertinent info: Bill’s job as the Deputy Executive Assistant to Admiral Fitzgerald (commander of naval forces Europe) has been put on temporary hold. Apparently, the office hadn’t truly realized Bill was still an 0-4, not even selected for 0-5 yet, and therefore could not be frocked. Most of the other NATO countries place only very senior people in the NATO jobs, so being only an 0-4 posed a problem. Also, since the Admiral is new as well, the current team in place is just starting to gel and iron out a number of problems. So, they’ll have Bill filling in with this and that and he won’t truly take over as DEA until sometime this summer, once he has been selected (we hope!). The good news is he won’t immediately be working the long hours yet to come, and there is opportunity for taking leave and enjoying some travel time this spring.
It’s somewhat ironic/unfortunate that neither Bill nor I tend to be great planners, go-getters in regards to traveling. Most of my trips in the past 10-15 years or so, I have “fallen into” and gone with others who have done the leg work, loved researching hotels, sights, etc. We tend to do the “What do you want to do? I don’t know- what do you want to do? I don’t know- where do you want to go? I don’t know…..” We need one of us to be a little more type A and figure it all out!
February 17, 2008
It's been cold and windy again the last several days, and the radiators placed only in the bathrooms of the apt seem to be somewhat useless. The temp on my portable alarm clock says its a whopping 55 degrees inside. Brrrhh, prob. not that much colder outside. The girls alternate between wrapping themselves up in blankets to play, and than will go on oblivious, and I still haven't even convinced Rachel to put tights, pants or socks on! I can so hear my grandmother telling me- "Put some socks on- you'll catch your death of cold!". Here's hoping the heat in our house works a little better, and that we won't go totally brok paying for said heat!
